Notice of closure · posted upon the door · not to be removed

The Ultimate Library of Truth is closed

By order of the ELDER CUSTODIAN — Keeper of the Ninth Shelf, Perpetual; Under-Warden of the Undisputed; Scrutineer of the Corroborated; and, by an arrangement nobody has since been able to undo, Curator-Lector of the Profound Journey.

The doors, which were already shut, are now additionally closed. The Library appreciates that this distinction will be of no use whatever to a person standing outside them, and declines to elaborate upon it.

Works have commenced upon the HORATIO FOSSICK MEMORIAL ORIENTATION AND SHELVING CENTRE, a facility in which readers may at last be oriented and shelved in a single visit, without the walk. (Horatio Fossick, Third Assistant Under-Shelver, tenure eleven days, of whom nothing further is recorded.) Phase One of Four. Phases Two through Four remain unfunded and are not discussed.

For the duration of the works

• The word is suspended. Do not type it. It will not be honoured, and its use will be noted.
• GALLERY THREE — Domestic Animals and Their Motives — is closed, the animals having been boxed, and in two cases mislaid.
• The Elder Custodian is on site in a hard hat he was not issued, supervising, at length.

Readers are asked to return periodically for further status. Status is issued when there is status. At the hour of posting there is no status.

Entered in the day-book by a clerk who did not enjoy writing it.